I suck at routines.
For some reasons I could start off all motivated and enthusiastic, and then some weeks down the line, I just stop abruptly. I might not last a month . That attitude has sorta crawled into my spiritual life and crippled it. Bible study could be a hassle at times and it shouldn’t be. For weeks I could literally forget to read my Bible or even pray and when I do,it’s probably for a while and the cycle continues. I think it has to do with lack of encouragement/drive from a partner/mentor. The absence of someone to follow through and not make up excuses for me is what I lack. Sadly, my new motto this year is #NoNewFriends which means I haven’t been very inviting. I’d rather just remain curled up in my mole. I’m also very hesitant to reply/answer the request, ”Can I have your number?”.
1. I don’t pick unknown/strange calls. Infact I don’t pick calls at all unless it’s of absolute importance. E.g. My mum, even know my phone is with me 90% of the time. I’ve had my mobile line for 8years now which means a whole lot of people; friends, well-wishers, enemies, exes have it and I’m avoiding a good number of them if not all. So the fastest way to get in touch with me is via email or Whatsapp(that’s if you’re lucky enough or I’m not in a bad moody and that’s like 95% of the time because I’m a very moody somebody.) I’m still hesitant to buy a new sim card because I fell so connected to it and I’m not sure I’m ready to let go.
So with these, it’s sort of difficult to let anyone in since I’ve built this huge wall around me. Side note: I’m not insecure. Lately I’ve just redrawn and somewhat reserved.
2. I’m trying to be careful about the kind of people I move with. As a young adult in this stage of my life, I don’t think I need the ”wrong set of people”. These are perilous times and very few people are actually principled and still hold their values tight. So it’s tad difficult making friends with kindred spirit.
3. My church isn’t helping matters.I’ve been attending my present one for two years now and hopefully moving back to my old one by the end of the year. In those two years I haven’t really been able to fit in properly which means I don’t have church friends. Well I hope, this old one goes beyond loubs and gadgets.
The bottom line is there’s no encouragement of any sort. Inasmuch as I’ve tried to be a goal-getter, I simply can do it alone especially at this very challenging point in time.