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On Starting Over.

I promise I’ve been planning to write all this while instead of posting videos back-to-back, I just needed to gather and arrange my littered thoughts.

In the space of about three months, I’ve heard two stories on how two individuals left everything and started over, education-wise for some reasons. Personally the first one seemed more valid as it was something I could relate with and could actually do. The second one was more shattering and for days I couldn’t get over it.. I was literally distraught. My emotions were messed up and I began to wonder,

”What if it was me?”

Would I be bold enough to leave everything despite the challenges and pressure especially parental and societal and start over? Honestly? No I don’t think I can. I don’t think I could live with it.. My heart wouldn’t allow it.. But on the long-run, I’m asking myself, ”Would I have regretted not making that decision when I could have and age wasn’t catching up with me even if it was?” Absolutely! It would probably haunt me for the rest of my life.

I don’t think it’s particularly easy for anyone to just stop whatever it is they’re doing at that moment for various reasons and decide to start over. Be it a job, career, or even a course of study in school. It takes a special level of grace to leave everything behind and turn to something unknown with only hope in sight.

There was a time in my life when I also at a point of desperation for something. I had the utmost faith and belief that I was gonna get it.. No matter the level I was in school, I was ready to start over. I didn’t care about anything else. I had my eyes solely on the prize. Long story short, till now it didn’t yield. I was angry with myself, angry that I apparently didn’t do enough, angry with God because I believed I did everything necessary.Good thing is, it didn’t lead to depression, I simply redirected my energy to something else pending the time.

My point is, it’s not everyone that has the courage to pick up the pieces of their lives, pack their bags,turn around and embark on a life-changing journey. I have a new found respect for people that have found themselves in this category and my heart goes out to them. The Lord is your strength and He will definitely see you through because His grace is sufficient.

Love and grace.
EB.

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