It’s currently Mental Health Awareness Week and I have been creating content all week on mental health, it didn’t occur to me to check mine.
I thought that I should wait until the end of the year before talking about my mental health. But then, I had a feeling that I might forget how to adequately document how I am actually feeling so here goes nothing.
I’m one of those people that do not pay attention to their mental health. I thought it was one of those things. I mean as long as I was not (obviously) mentally ill, I was fine. But then this year, I started to feel things that I had not previously felt even though I was physically in a pretty decent shape. I almost did not recognize myself. This got me questioning the state of my mental health.
Yes, I did try to Google my symptoms because I did not understand how I suddenly developed regular anxiety and panic attacks.
Was it stress? Probably!
I toyed with the idea of seeing a therapist for a while. But then, I started to feel better so I didn’t think it was necessary anymore. (Although, I might still be open to seeing one.)
In between the ‘episodes‘, I tried praying, confessing positive affirmations and breathing exercises. They did work until the next one.
These days, it’s few and far between. I tried to drown myself with work so I don’t get anxious over anything that isn’t worth it.
But man, it is hard.
To be honest, I hope this is a phase. Yes, I’m stressed with work, I mean who isn’t but I do not think it’s a trigger. Then again, maybe it is even though I mentally block out anything that is not my immediate concern.
I feel like I’m at the stage where I need to be intentional about taking care of my mental health. It’s something that could easily be overlooked but is super important in the grand scheme of things. I hate that I haven’t been conditioned to process these things but would have to learn on my own.
I hope that the next time I write about my mental health, I have taken practical steps to identify my triggers and work on them.