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IV

Ever gotten to a point in your life where you craved drips rather than actual food or water?

This was me three weeks ago.

For that entire period, I wasn’t even thinking. All I needed to do was to get well. I promised myself I wasn’t gonna be this reckless again. I just needed to get better.

It was intense.

Never felt so useless in my entire life.

I wasn’t ready to die.

There was so much going through my head.

Meaningless nothings.

I couldn’t still my thoughts.

Ebola. Cancer.

No. God forbid.

I tried to read my Bible.

Positive confessions like Dr Ada in that BN article.

I was drunk with ORT suspension.

Lost water

Blood

Faster than I could replenish.

Wished I was plus sized so the loss wouldn’t be so obvious.

It was exhausting and frustrating.

Suddenly, an improvement

Then relapse.

The last time I stressed my mother this much was probably during my CS birth.

Sigh.

Surveillance

Stagger

It was crazy.

At some point, I had to pretend I  better to ease off the pain and tension but my mother saw through me.

It was tough.

But I’m better now. Finally able to write again. That alone gives me so much joy.

Flunked one exam. Skipped the other just because.

I’ll be fine. Always will be.

EB.

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