The other day, I had a conversation with a close friend of mine. Whilst giving each other a low down of our week – something we do rather frequently – an issue came up. A couple of days ago, there was a Twitter football event – TPL. She usually attends this sort of things and I went on to ask why she didn’t attend this particular one. Her reason?
She didn’t have anyone to go with and she couldn’t go alone.
That struck me. It shouldn’t have because we’re friends and I knew her level of dependence on her other friends which she has a ton of btw. That, of course ignited a mini argument of sorts. I was like, why did you have to wait for someone to go with you? Why couldn’t you go alone? In her defense, the people she was supposed to go with weren’t going so she tossed the idea aside. Then I was like, all of the events I attend, do you ever see me looking for company? Usually, I try to invite my friend to some of these events and she always gives me one excuse or the other. So, I just stopped altogether although I casually dropped hints but I never really invite her. Later on, just before she was interrupted which of course signified the end of the discussion, she asked me if I would go alone to a football event.
First of all, I don’t have the slightest interest in the game so why would I subject myself to that torture. Thing is, if I did, I would have gone with or without a company.
Afterwards, I remembered a tweet that I retweeted earlier in the week;
”I can’t be friends with a clique of girls. I would get irritated too quickly. I’m too much of an individual”…. @LagosBarbie
When I was in high school, during my junior and a bit of senior year, I belonged to a clique of friends. We weren’t always friends. We were accidentally in the same class and same position academically all through junior school. I always came second while the both of them came first and third respectively. Naturally, we became a clique. The baddest girls in that year. No one could beat our records. Then, we moved to senior school and went to different classes. I went to the art class while the both of them went to science. Then, I began to struggle to keep up. We weren’t in the same class anymore and our relationship was strained. I can’t exactly remember who dropped who first. All I knew was I couldn’t stand them anymore. I gradually withdrew plus the drama was incessant. The girl that eventually replaced me was the same one that picked a fight with me over a new boy in junior school. No hard feelings.
After that conversation with my friend, I remembered what it felt like to belong to a clique. You had to wait for each other to do certain things or even go to certain places. You couldn’t be seen alone. A mean that’s what they are there for. Moral support. We had one mind and one general opinion. We weren’t the mean girls or anything, just knockoffs. I remembered how far I had come from someone that was totally dependent on friends to being an independent human being.
It doesn’t get any better than that.
No, movie dates are not boring because I get to enjoy the movie rather than giggling or chatting.
My Whatsapp doesn’t beep incessantly because I don’t have people bothering me except group chats which have been muted.
Events are not a drag either because I can focus and not get unnecessarily distracted.
Just make sure you look for a fun-sized girl with natural hair wearing sneakers and typing on her phone sitting at the edge of the row.
You’ll find me.