There are two things I’ve recently discovered about myself;
1. I don’t know how to endlessly brood over things hence forgiveness comes easily to me.
2. I cherish my peace of mind.
When I was in high school, I had a friend – a buddy more or less. We did stuff together, got individual “special” admissions/graduated at the same time (as well as other coincidences), wrote SATs together and even became prefect partners eventually – at this point, I totally resented him. I can’t remember what caused the fight but we had a big one in junior school and I sent him to hell. I didn’t speak to him for 6 months. Turns out, I took the trip myself. I was miserable the whole time but my pride didn’t allow me confront him. I had totally forgiven and forgotten about the whole incident roughly a month later because that’s the normal thing to do. But I missed my friend terribly and I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him until a counsellor intervened. Oh yeah! That serious.
I do not know how to bottle things up for a long time. I don’t know how folks do it. A mean, my anger dissipates after a fairly long while (read two months max). After which the acknowledgment of various faults, rational thinking and eventual forgiveness. Overtime, I’ve realised that whatever the gravity of offence is, the pattern remains unerring. Sometimes, I wonder if it’s a weakness(of sorts). Trust me, being 5″0 is a magnet for vulnerability. Some people think they can take advantage of you just because you can’t stand up to them.
But the thing is I cherish my peace of mind. I don’t not have the luxury of keeping malice with people. I love living in the moment – not in the past or the future – yes, I hardly worry about the future. I love that blissful state of mind where grudges or stale offences don’t count.
I literally forgive and…..forget.
Plus, Jesus said we should forgive seventy times seven. Even at that, it’s easier for God to forgive my trespasses even as I forgive those who trespass against me.
It’s a win-win situation.