It’s 2am on a Sunday morning. I have no idea why I’m still awake when I clearly have to be up in a few hours to attend first service and believers class thereafter. But what can I do? Sleep has decided to take a coffee break after a fairly long nap the previous day.
What else? Twitterville is somewhat hibernating with little or no action but endless tweets and retweets from parody accounts. So, I go with what looks like the only alternative left; blog-hopping.
I stumble on Ibukun’s inactive blog(not quite sure now), read through and shared a few posts until this particular one where she explained her decision to ”give Twitter up” . Mind you, this post is over a year old and I remember reading it but not paying so much attention to it because it didn’t resonate with me at that point in time. Infact, scrolling down the comments section, my exact words were;
”Nahh I don’t think I can do this especially since this(Twitter in particular, The Internet in general) is what’s keeping me sane right now”
Hold that thought.
I went back to the article to read some of the links she made reference to. By the time I’m done halfway through the third article about the guy who gave up the Internet for a year, I had a paradigm shift. Suddenly that comment I made almost a year ago seemed invalid.
When I was writing my list of 21 things, one of the points included was to stay off the internet for a week. In my mind, I knew it wasn’t remotely possible but I was ready to challenge myself.
It’s been a little over two years since I became an active citizen of the internet. Not that I didn’t have prior knowledge or access to it, I wasn’t just consumed with it as I am now. It’s quite understandable. Times have changed. No matter how much I’d like to think of myself as a Victorian, I just have to flow with the vibe.
So, I’m at this point trying to compare the pros and cons of ”living on the internet”. Obviously, the pros outweighs the cons in terms of accessibility,availability and whatnot. Undoubtedly, I’ve been able to discover, develop and push myself. Good thing is I didn’t allow myself be swayed by throwing my morals out of the window. Probably because of the way I’m wired. So there’s no issue there. But on the flip side which I’m not quite sure is a disadvantage yet is my reclusity. In my head, it’s all part of the transition to adulthood. Recently, I got asked out on a date and for some (un)conscious reasons, I kept stalling. I haven’t been on a date in like forever! Ola; who serves as my default boyfriend hasn’t been avaliable for a while now so I was supposed to be excited about it but no I wasn’t. You know why? I didn’t see any need for it.. Yep! At this rate I’m not gonna meet people at all and I’d probably not get married. Yeah,we’ll probably date through DMs. Smh. No but really it is an issue for me that’s why I’m eventually gonna have to take time off the internet if things don’t change for the better. It doesn’t even help matters that I currently have online jobs and planning to take up more. Really! Sigh.
Bottom line is I’m have to strike a balance and fix my social life.
I’m gonna end with a few excerpts from one of the articles I read. This struck a chord and I was literally moved to tears because it’s aptness.
”….Can we all agree that making friends is just plain hard? You inevitably face awkward conversations, and awkward dinner every now and then, and for lack of a better term, after much investment, you may just come to find out the chemistry (not romantic) just isn’t there.”
”…As if rejection doesn’t take a serious toll on a human being as it is, we’ve now added another dimension. I’m almost tempted to call it imaginary rejection. Rejected by those we’ve never even met. Nor talk to on a normal, consistent basis.With comparison comes jealousy and I’m not sure anything steals your joy quicker than feeling jealous.”
” Because of this new season and revelation, I’ve found that reverting to the internet to bring me
community and companionship is just as easy, but it lacks true intimacy and vulnerability, which to me, is no relationship at all. While making friends and creating community takes time, work, patience, vulnerability,initiation and so much more, the reality is, we were created for face-to-face friendships, not face-to-screen. We want to be known, loved and accepted, but we fear rejection,so we are more comfortable to correspond with people on twitter, as opposed to calling up a friend to meet for dinner”
”But the truth of the matter is, it’s our responsibility to take control of what we let rule over and own us.”