2013 like any other year had it’s downsides. Some of my expectations were totally cut short. Some things I set off to do didn’t see the light of day and whatnot. Inasmuch as I don’t wanna dwell so much on ”negativity” I think the least I can do is to acknowledge them and work on them later on.
This year I
Dwindled spiritually. Yeah. I really hit rock bottom in this area. Struggled a lot with my spiritual life. It got to a point that I stopped praying and reading my bible until I recently got my Youversion app. The plans motivated me a bit with the different avaliable Bible versions. But still, I feel like I’m not doing enough. I feel like I’m taking the grace and mercy of God for granted. At the beginning of the year, I resolved to take my relationship with God more serious and to actually focus and build it but we’re at the end of the year and it feels like I’m back to square one. I also realised it might be as a result of lack of motivation/study partner. I absolutely lacked encouragement from someone to uplift me when I was down. There was no one in sight. Sigh. I hope this changes next year.
Failed to meet up to my reading challenge on Goodreads. This is just sad. I planned to read 20 new books this year and I just got around to read just 1. I have some eBooks in my mail and i haven’t gotten used to reading electronically. Another struggle. Sigh.
Failed to start off my work-out routine. Smh. I kept procastinating and forgetting. I don’t know what stopped me from going to the market to buy a jump-rope or waking up early to do sit-ups. -__- . Laziness I guess.
Missed having a bestie. Yeah. I kind of lost a bestie to a relationship and it’s been terribly lonely since then although I’ve learnt to cope and I’m gradually getting used it. Dunni and Bolaji unconsciously tried to fill the gap but the void was still there. Sigh anyways whatever.
Suspended projects. This has to be the saddest of them all. I started this year with so much hope and enthusiasm and belief and it all just got dashed. I think this had an adverse effect on my spiritual life. I completed lost my trust/faith in God for a moment there. I felt He was non-existing. Amean after praying, fasting, sowing seeds and whatnot, it didn’t materialise and I’m just sad basically. My mum says God’s time I’d the best and I’m like ”yeah sure”
This post just kills my morale really. Having to sit, think and remind myself just hurts. So I’m just gonna end it and come back later.